Devar Ne Meri Gand Mari

I, as Eleanor, went to see his sister Madeline, not for the first time, to continue our work as co-conspirators against Hugh’s studied indifference....Everything we had tried so far had failed. Madeline and I had engineered numerous occasions when Hugh and I had been left alone together. I had risked my good name so many times, and for what? A kiss on my hand? A friendly hand ruffling my hair as if I was a lap-dog? A slap on the rump as if I was a horse? His affection for me was plain. But it was. We only talked about fucking and scrabble, really. i spent a lot of time staring out windows. though my life is much different now, i still wonder who that girl was? not only me, but his wife…her dirty children with snot encrusted nostrils and her trailer smelling of potatoes rotting at the bottom of a trash can. i think sometimes i could be happy with anyone. there is nothing special about people. we all have a different story that happened in a different place and time, but we have the same. The only underperform was anticipation. She got an 8.3, which is still pretty good.’ ‘You mean she didn’t…’ ‘Anticipate? Not always I guess but I’m not sure of the details. There was a 7 in there.’ ‘The hard grader. Brandon I suppose.’ ‘No comment.’ She giggled. ‘So what’s the average?’ ‘Call it 9.3, no weighting here. I mean they’re all weighted the same. So 9.3 is it.’ ‘How’s it compare?’ ‘Outstanding. Average over the last 5 years is 8.2 so statistically she’s…’ ‘Off the charts?’ She smiled. Immediately after I have finally ceased to scream my wrists should be slit by the executioner to drain my blood, and to be sure or If I request a swift end with my safe word which I have never ever used, he must slit my throat (I hope I am brave enough and will not now use it) but as we never know our own strength. Soon after I am gone I wish a leg to be removed butchered roasted and eaten by my family and friends at the dukes table that evening ensuring me being at that final meal with you.
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