We never fought. I always thought we were made for each other. I became depressed, very depressed. I contemplated suicide. I even wrote a suicide note... took out the carving knife from the drawer, and pressed it against my wrist. At that point I realized I needed help, psychiatric medical help, and quickly."I went to the institute. Went through the rigmarole of admissions. A nurse came and got me, led me to a change room. She held open the curtain and told me to undress, take everything off,. .. what, Donald?" Um, either law or medicine. I'm undecided." Tell him medicine, unless he's a lawyer, then put law first."Denise went on, trying to anticipate Mr. Mattingly's questions and actions until she ran out of ideas and said, "That's about it. If he throws something at you from left field, answer from your heart. Above all, face up to him. He's a father, not an ogre. He's protecting his daughter; your job is to show him you feel essential the same way, even through you probably want to. Chuck was double diapered on the day of the parade and given a large bagof doubloons to toss to the crowd as they assembled at the paradesforming area. Someone estimated that there were six hundred thousand toone million people gathering for the Jefferson Parish parade. Of courseno one would have recognized the pretty little baby girl sitting in thewhite wicker carriage nor the sweet little girl pushing it.Four and one half miles to travel uptown then downtown to the toastingarea. Chuck had. What if my abandon was captured on camera, and my “date” was a cruel, vicious pimp? Were I then hooked on the sharp barbs of blackmail, and my shame held me skewered in place?To be randomly beaten for no reasoned occasion. A reminder of who’s whip-hand held sway.Then blatantly touted as spineless demeanor. The drag-fag of his sick, twisted stable.Another bond whore under his jurisdiction. A cheap treat to be loaned out at will. Sent out to serve with no set precondition. “Anything goes” when.
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“Just in case one night or day you want to make me your woman,” she’d told me late one evening while we sat on the deck drinking a beer. When sh
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