But why would God hate it if it felt so good? I didn’t stop.It was a year from that point that I lost my virginity. I was the first girl I knew to h...ve done so, and I was happy to begin telling horror stories of pain and blood to my friends. But my fling was quickly over and I began to become frustrated. Touching myself wasn’t doing it for me any more, I needed a man. The problem was... I found too many. And before long i’d earned myself a title. Slag, slut, hoar, I didn’t mind. I knew they. Marnie sat up and crossed her legs. Then she felt up to the head of the bed and under the pillows. Her hand returned with a small cloth bag."... under the pillow are the toys..."She pulled the cord to loosen the top and then dumped the contents out upon the bed before her. The clothe bag joined her clothing.I heard her laugh and her voice playfully spoke through my speaker, "Oh Master, you naughty boy!" Boy indeed! I will remember that the next I have her over my knee - that alone will get her. Like, I only ever deserved what I needed. Not anymore. Almost overnight I feel -- quite comfortably -- that it's totally fine for me to want things. And absolutly to be expected that I should get what I want.Speaking of things I want; Hayden (god his name is so fucking stupid I hate to even write it) finally came back to work today after being gone for three days. I don't flatter myself that it was the pain of my rejection keeping him away, I'm sure it was just the awkwardness. I have a feeling. Ironically, the paper was open to the Style section showing a picture ofher in an elegant black evening gown which showed off her ample curves at arecent fund-raiser for Israel. She certainly was not the same person thismorning. There were additional signs ofchaos in the room: the travel books that once decorated the coffee table layabout the room; the coat rack in the foyer lay on the floor near the frontdoor; flowers which only moments before sat in a vase decorating the livingroom, now.
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