I took the panties out of my pocket and set them on the sink while I stripped myself down to just my t-shirt. I again picked up the panties and stared...at them. I looked at them for a long time, and then in one motion, I bent down putting one leg into one hole, and then the other followed. By this time, I was really excited, my erection was so big that it actually hurt. The tip of my dick was poking out of the top to the lace like it was trying to save one last bit of my masculinity before. She was expecting a call from her sister in Russia. Vlad and I drove to the Cowboy Bar and Grill first. It and the Cop Out were my usual hangouts. Well not where I hung out, just where I went to get laid.When we walked in, I could see that business was off. Sarah was standing at the bar with a drink in her hand. I suppose the Christmas spirit was found in a glass at cowboys."Sarah how about a cup of bad coffee," I suggested. She looked from me to Vlad who shook his head."Here you go, one bad. Then she gently nibbled my ear lobe, her breath sounding loud in close proximity to my ear. “Is this your first time?” I just grunted and nodded.She lead me to her bedroom, propping herself up on the large pile of pillows. “Take your time, there is no rush, I just want you to enjoy yourself, we will have plenty of other times, so don’t feel under pressure”I kneeled on the bed, she spread her legs apart, giving me room to get close. I leaned forward, beginning by kissing her mouth, my hands. The rage wasn't completely gone and I worried that it would never be fully erased but it was at least lessened. Manageable. I still wasn't comfortable in my own skin ... but I could see a path to where I could be. Eventually. It all depended on me.Jeanie was hesitantly walking towards me, her arms clutching her stomach and tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were turning red, as red as her hair, so I knew she'd been crying for more than a few minutes. She looked pitiful, her body trembling.
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