. I mustn't..."He signalled the waiter, settled his bill and left. He walked morosely back to his room. He undressed and climbed listlessly into bed. ...e lay there struggling to get the girl out of his mind and trying to persuade himself once more that no woman was worthy of his love ever again. Eventually he fell asleep.He did not feel refreshed when he woke in the morning but his landlady was a cheerful bustling soul and when he left, after a huge and delicious breakfast, he was feeling much. As Josh wasgoing to find out, everything involving Helen was done in front of the cameras. The drive was not long, maybean hour and though nervous and excited Josh passed the time budiscussing sports, food and Helen. All the time he had a fixed image in hismind of her standing handcuffed in her white sneakers, denim shorts and greyt-shirt as she protested her innocence and remained her calm composed self. He watched at a distance fromthe car as Helen was led between 2 ?officers? into the. "Good job Princess Short Stuff. I told you we could pass you off."I am still shaking when we reach the front gate. Susan uses my gate opener so the guard doesn't have to come out. I have only seen the guard twice before. Thank god it is not Tony. The guard looks at us both with that 'your guilty until you prove innocent' expression. He starts toward the van and I think I am going to have a heart attack. But after a few steps he changes his mind and goes back to his booth. But not without one. I say this because I know it for myself.”I wondered how much Frej and my parents had shared. Certainly the experience of losing a dear partner, of course, and perhaps there was more pain associated with that than I even knew. From the sound of it, Frej had probably confided in them about whatever regret he was speaking of. Did it have to do with Elise? I wondered if my parents had regrets related to my dad. Had they been on good terms the day he’d had his accident? Had their last phone.
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