The girls had thrown on t-shirts and made a huge breakfast, we had really worked up an appetite. Jenny had been texting her sister, Julie was coming t... get her around noon. Jenny put on her new tiny swim suit, and three of us went for a swim, after we went to the front porch to lay in the warm sun. Jenny’ s suit was translucent, and she quickly abandoned it. The three of us lay there naked, just taking in the sun, listening to music. It was about 11:30 when we heard Julie’s car drive around. As I studied my sibling another heavy wave of distress washed over me. I was looking at my innocent young sister. She looked flawless, clean, pure, guiltless and it pained me to know I had ruined the young maiden. She would never again be able to say she was clean, pure and guiltless. I crawled out of bed, the little heater had warmed the room so I didn’t need to grab clothes right away.I went to empty my bladder and when I came back Diane had shuffled around on the bed, the blanket was lying. Actually, that wasn't it either. It was the realization that Ididn't mind being one. Shouldn't the loss, however temporary, of mymasculinity been horrifying? But it wasn't. Instead, it was like being aboy was a burden that had been weighing me down, only I didn't realizeit until that weight was lifted. What was I supposed to do with thatfeeling? I couldn't process it. Even my failure to save Deb paled incomparison.Once we were back, they wanted to take me to the compound and have mechecked out,. He let me go and motion for me to start. As I started to take my clothes off. I tried to think of a way out. If I tried to open the door he would give pin me to the car again a close it. I had trouble with my shirt my arms couldn’t stop shaking and I couldn’t get them through the arm holes at first. I finally managed and once it was off I threw my shirt on the ground. If I tried to jump over the car he would just leap over and beat me to the other side. Again I had trouble because I was shaking.
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