***Brian and Miki grasped the handles on the opposite ends of the footlocker and lifted. They walked toward the edge of the jungle about ahundred yard... away. Large birds squawked and whooped from above as theycircled the beach. Brian looked up and wondered whether any werevultures. He felt the hair on the back of his neck tingle. The sun wasblinding and forced him to look away.They finally reached the perimeter of the jungle. Miki noticed a smallshaded clearing amidst the trees and vegetation. Just kidding sir, for ourguests' enjoyment. Anything else? No? Well, for God's sake, get out in thereand enjoy! But remember! It only works once!"* * *I stood there by the pool, listening to the hotel's Manager give that littleoration, and thinking what fun it would be to try that. I always envied mygirlfriends' bodies--at sixteen and a half, my hormones were raging likecrazy. My twelve year-old sister Paula was jumping up and down withexcitement. "I want to try to be a boy! Can we try that,. I said you excepted their improper offer? She said yes, its been a while since I smoked. In a couple of hours the guys got up and all of them but one started going back toward their room, the single guy walked over to us. I saw him but for some reason I acted asleep. He couldn't tell due to my dark glasses. He leaned down a whispered something in my wife's ear. She turned her head toward me. She touched my arm and whispered are you asleep? I didn't answer. She turned and stood up. I watched. Things like puberty was always a difficult thing to write about, but in my innocent way & adventurous mind, I still found a logical approach to explain my unusual feelings. Ironically, I had no idea how vital my diary entries would be in the future. My diaries helped me explain how my body seemed to be changing when I thought about girls, the sad unsuccessful days I had when I asked girls out & how broken & dejected it made me when I was told no. I had a particular way of dealing with my.
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